Written and directed by Andy Spain

Produced by Allen Henderson

Starring Matt Burdorff, Harper Gordek, Allen Henderson, Rick Ward, and Andy Spain

First aired: never.

A man tries to quit smoking by writing ascreenplay about a man trying to quit smoking by writing a screenplay about a man trying to quit smoking by writing a screenplay about a man trying to quit smoking by writing a screenplay. The result is a steamy metaphysical mess. Or, WAS a mess, we should say. The episode never aired due to being erased from the editing hard drive prior to its completion. We would like to say the guilty parties know who they are, but said parties are far too unintelligent to have realized the mistake they made, more or less even read these words. Words. Words with a W. Don't touch me.

The episode would have starred Andy Spain and Dave Miller and Andy Spain and Dave Miller as the respective men writing and characterized in the non-respective screenplays, and Rick Ward as the Devil, who lost one of his thumbs after accidentally breaking it off in his own ass while trying to remove the other thumb that had become lodged there during a fictitious incident that actually happened. Minor roles included Allen Henderson as a robotic bilby with laser eyes that he used to conduct laser eye surgery on humans and other robotic bilbies without laser eyes, Harper Gordek as the Centaur, Matt Burdorff as Rick Ward, and Rick Ward as the Devil, who lost one of his thumbs after accidentally breaking it off in his own ass while trying to remove the other thumb that had become lodged there during a fictitious incident that actually happened. Words with a W.

A few lucky RAVErs witnessed a rough cut of the episode during their summer beach trip of 2001. We say "witnessed" because they all later testified in court over having seen it, which they had, except for Andy Spain, who hadn't. Perhaps the memory of this lost episode will love on in their hearts and anuses for centuries to come, or maybe they will all testify against Andy Spain over yet another legal matter, but this time Andy Spain will see those bastards coming, and smite them with mighty flames exuded from his fourth nipple, which is where this whole thing got started in the first place. Words with a W.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

Because it was dead.