The hard working cast of R.A.V.E. is discussing which brilliant episode they will next be working on when they notice that Mark Andrews is missing. Mark suddenly busts through the studio door and starts picking off the cast one by one with a laser gun. Steve and Kevin don't survive the onslaught, but the rest of the cast pin Mark down. As they interrogate him, they learn that somehow the show has caused the apocalypse. Harper tells the cast that Chancellor Hooker created safety measures to keep R.A.V.E. from getting off campus. The safety measures have been breached and the guilty person must be found, executed, and the world set right. The cast kills Mark and travels into the future. They discover that "The Man" is the leader in the apocalyptic world. As they search for The Man, the cast finds future Harper dead, and fight off the future Ward. Future Sarah turns out to be "The Man" and she is NOT responsible for the apocalypse. Playing a video tape found on Harper's body, the cast learns that the evil cameraman Rick is the one who unleashed R.A.V.E. on the world. He is punished most severely. Things set right, the cast travels back to the present to prepare for their next wacky adventure.

Click here for the shooting script

(in order of appearance)
MARK -- Mark Andrews
MARIANNA -- Marianna Matthews
NOFFSINGER -- Sara Noffsinger
WARD -- Ward Rackley
PETE -- Pete Shelton
STEVE -- Steve Conschafter
KEVIN -- Kevin Hanna
HARPER -- Harper Gordek
JAMES -- James Amler
SANTA CLAUS -- Himself
CORPSE -- Ben Noffsinger
DEAD HARPER -- Harper Gordek
FUTURE PETE -- Pete Shelton
THE MAN -- Sara Noffsinger
FUTURE WARD -- Ward Rackley
RICK -- Rick Ward

Written By
Ward Rackley

Fight Scene Choreographer
Pete Shelton

Camera
Harper Gordek
Kevin Hanna
Mark Andrews
Steve Conschafter
Rick Ward

Edited By
Kevin Hanna
Rick Ward

Sound
Steve Conschafter

Directed By
Ward Rackley

Produced By
Harper Gordek

This show was filmed...

on STV's backlot
at the Forest Theatre
on the third floor of the Student Union
in a room in Carmichael
next Thursday

"Whoops...I dropped my sandwich.
Guess that's gonna cost me."

*The first episode written and directed by Ward Rackley*
*Prinicpal photography lasted for three months*
*The entire episode was shot on 3/4" equipment*
*The corpse scene was originally about a Pythonesque/Dickensian urchin named Pip*
*The body in the woods is a cameo by Sarah's little brother*
*Ward yelled at everyone at some point during filming*
*When Harper discovers that Sarah is "The Man" he really does punch her in the nose*
*The cast was told by several organizations (who shall remain nameless) to be more quiet when filming in the Student Union*

There are no continuity errors--only side-effects from the Temporal Quake. The Quake--a rift in space and time--occurs when the time continuum is breached by time travel. The temporal quake is the cause of any facial hair loss, altered hairstyles, costume changes, cast member disapperence, and the general lack of continuity.

To learn more about the Temporal Quake, register for PHYS 666, Section 13, with Professor Seamus "Malebogia" McLachlan.

Harper - "Maybe he's having sex with Traci Lords--kind of a case study."
Pete - "Well, who wouldn't?"

Mark - "I don't think you're willing to sacrifice any of your lives."
Harper - "No, but we're willing to sacrifice yours."

Pete - "Well, I don't hear any brilliant detective work coming from you, Agatha Christie."
Noffsinger - "The only thing you're gonna hear is your cries of agony before I kill you."

Future Ward - "Fools! Your pathetic ways of antiquity won't save you now."
Harper - "That's OK, 'cause we're gonna kick your ass old-school style."

Ward - "Hi, guys! Did you find anything?"

Steve - "Whoops! I dropped my sandwich!"

Rick - "You're gonna open up a can of whupass on me, aren't you?"
Ward - "Son, we're about to unload the whole delivery truck."